Everyone’s sex drive is different — and if things feel right to you, it’s normal. But if you were born with a vagina, you might experience times when your libido takes an unwanted dip, especially as you age.
Experts call this sexual dysfunction — when you want to have more sex, but a lack of desire or other symptoms are getting in the way. (It’s different than simply not being interested in having sex, which is also completely OK.)
As a urogynecologist, I know that it can sometimes be hard for patients to ask for help. Talking about intimacy can be uncomfortable — especially with someone other than your partner. However, when patients share their concerns with me, there’s usually something we can do to address them. And that can make their sex lives more satisfying.
Here’s a look at some of the most common causes of low sex drive, how to spot the signs, and what you can do about it.
What causes low sex drive?
Low sex drive can affect adults of any age. However, it becomes more common as you age.
Though estimates vary, some data shows that up to 75% of people who are in or past menopause notice a downturn in their sex drive.
Lots of different factors can be at play. These include:
- Hormone changes. Declines in estrogen cause vaginal tissue to become drier and less elastic. This can make sex painful. Menopause-related hormone changes can also directly reduce desire.
- Urology-related conditions. Urine leakage, an uptick in urinary tract infections, and conditions like pelvic prolapse become more common with age. These problems can make sex uncomfortable, embarrassing, or both.
- Other health issues or medications. Conditions like heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, multiple sclerosis, and cancer can impact your sex life. The medications used to treat these issues can play a role, too.
- Body image concerns. Weight gain, sagging skin, or thinning hair might make some people feel less desirable and more self-conscious during intimacy.
- General life challenges. Stress, depression, or any kind of mental or emotional strain can zap your interest in sex. It’s normal.
What does low sex drive look like?
Decreased desire can stem from physical symptoms or have psychological roots. Common signs include:
- Pain or discomfort during intercourse or other sexual activities
- Trouble getting aroused, even with sexual stimulation
- Having fewer sexual thoughts or fantasies (or none at all)
- Difficulty having an orgasm or finding pleasure in sex
- Feeling anxious or sad when you think about sex
Treating decreased libido
There are many effective ways to give your sex drive a boost. The options that work best for you will depend on what’s causing your symptoms.
So, I encourage you to let your provider know if sex has become uncomfortable or you notice that your sex drive has changed. Together, you can discuss your symptoms and explore the underlying cause. Once you understand what’s driving the problem, you can talk about solutions.
That might include:
- Exploring new ways to become aroused
- Talking with a counselor who specializes in sex and relationships
- Making healthy lifestyle changes, like stress management, exercise, limiting alcohol, or stopping smoking
- Doing pelvic exercises, like Kegels
Pelvic floor physical therapy can help improve symptoms. Medication may be another option. Vaginal estrogen can decrease dryness and discomfort to make intercourse feel better. Other treatments, like flibanserin, bremelanotide, and testosterone, can increase sexual desire directly.
Take charge of your sexual health
If you’re having symptoms of low sex drive, a urogynecologist may be able to help. The Temple Urogynecology Program has highly skilled urogynecologists who specialize in gynecologic issues and are equipped to meet your individual needs. Request an appointment online or call 800-TEMPLE-MED (800-836-7536).
